Perhaps it is more or less true that pastors have many friends but not as many outside the congregation because work and contact are most often with the families, children, and individuals of the parish. For example, pastors obviously don't interact with the business world as frequently as those who work in it. It's a little more difficult to “get out of town” or develop familiarity with a wider circle in the same way you do.
I say that with no regret because the wonderful members of congregations I’ve gotten to know over the years are deeply appreciated for their friendship, warmth, and trust.
But there is something very special about someone who is a friend, not because of you being their pastor, but simply for the sake of friendship alone.
I mention here two friends of mine, both of whom, coincidentally, I met at convalescent homes, and both of whom are women.
Betty Poellet and I met many years ago at Stratford Pines. Occasionally I would lead chapel services on Sunday afternoons for some of the seniors there. Most all were in wheelchairs. Most all had ailments of old age among which included falling asleep. But back in the early 90s, one lady would walk across from the apartments to join those devotionals. After two or three such occasions, we struck up a conversation. Betty, now in her 90s, lives in an apartment in Frankenmuth, and every week for the last several years she has written me a note. In our day of diminishing personal correspondence by mail, her weekly card is the only hand written letter I ever get. She tells me about the chapel services they have there, about her favorite crafts, what she may have had for dinner, and a word or two about her family.
Sometimes when I am in Frankenmuth, and I'm not pressed for time, I stop and see Betty. She tells me it means so much to her, but she doesn't know how much it means to me. We really don't have a whole lot in common. She usually favors me with some small ceramic she has made to add to the others. We make small talk. But the friendship is precious. You see, she doesn't give criticism or advice. She just gives herself which I have come to realize is the best definition of a friend.
Jesus gave himself, and none of us has a better friend.
The other lady is Clare List. Some old-timers from around here probably know her. She is a member of
He lived a dozen years or more at the Carriage House, and not a day went by that Claire was not there at his side. She was also the one responsible for the establishment of consistent worship occasions for residents there who can't get to church. Claire would ask pastors if they would come and lead a service.
Today, her age and circumstance make it difficult to be away from the small apartment where she now makes her home. I sometimes stop and see her. She is a reminder to me of what the loyalty and love of Christ in someone effects. She always acts so appreciative, but I know it is more for myself that I visit, because most of us have too few of such friends who take us as we are, dismiss any idea that there could be faults in us, and are simply glad to call us their friend.
Jesus is like that. He regards us as faultless because He has imputed his righteous to us. He said in John 15, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends…. I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you … “
When someone befriends you in the manner of Christ, that is a true fortune of greater worth than gold. Or as the timeless lyric says, "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."
